Unfortunately people lie. In real life and on dating sites. There are different reasons why people do that. Some are simply insecure and cannot believe someone will give them a chance if “all they are” is being themselves. Others have more sinister motives preying on people. There are ways to protect yourself and as always I advise that you take your time, don’t give any personal information until truly comfortable and simply don’t make any quick decisions without sleeping over them.
We all have intuition and when it comes down to it, it is accessible to guide us.
Here is what men and women both lie about the most on datings sites:
Claiming to make more money appears to be the number 1 lie men tell in their online dating profiles.
The perception is often that women want stability at least and an amazing lifestyle at best. However, that is not always the case: Women often desire to build a future together with their men. In Western culture a woman is not always interested in depending on a man financially, but rather wants to make her own dreams come true and simply needs a man who is supportive of that. If insecurity is why YOU may think you need to inflate your income, know that with false expectations set you will start a relationship on a very bad note as being “caught” is likely. And if you are lucky and the lady does not care about your income either way, then there was no “need” to boost the numbers to begin with.
The second biggest lie men tell on their dating profiles tends to be adding some inches.
This is such a common white lie that is often used by movie actors and average men alike. I am not quite sure why there is this need as I often see men of shorter statue with a tall, model-like woman. Some women prefer taller men. Other women simply do not care. And my advice is to just BE and know that the advantage of being on a dating site is to filter your search based on what you care about and ignore the parts that you just don’t.
3) Previous marriages
Leaving out relationships that didn’t work is also common. Women do not tend to do it that much.
Giving the woman the impression that she may be doomed for the same type of ending as the other(s) is something that reasonably many try to avoid. “Don’t judge me by my past” is often the thing men are really trying to say when clicking on “single” rather than “divorced”.
If you have truly closed the doors to your past and decided to start over, there is no need to lie. Lay the cards out and show by being you that there is no need to worry about this.
4) Being “too nice”
Women do not need a “nice guy”, but a real guy. Anybody can act nice. Who are YOU and what do YOU have to offer?
Yes, women make the mistake to say “I want a nice guy”, because what you need is a REAL GUY. Anybody can be nice, but if this is not the true you, then you deserve to finish last. Women who are alert and have clean energy often sense and assume fakeness. Show your edges. Show controlled anger if it’s there. Give her an idea of what you want, where you are going in life and what it is you need. Pretending everything is great all the time won’t give her the chance to help you get where you are. Remember: Love changes everything and that includes you. But you cannot try to be perfect already when all you need is a true partnership to grow into the best versions of you both together and let her see your strong sides as well as her weaknesses. Then she knows what she can rely on and lean on as well as where her strength might compliment and help you make your life better.
Nobody wants to appear to have baggage, but playing with open cards always works best long-term.
Do you have children? And think it might be “best to leave that part out”? Don’t!
Many women believe that the man they really want won’t pay attention to them if their scale goes beyond a certain number.
Do you really think it is just the weight that might keep a man from dating you? Or could it be something else? Why do you think you have gained weight? Could it be that it is more of an expression of something that might be keeping you from letting someone get close to you?
Not all heavyset people are created equal. There are women who are heavy, have always been, but have amazing energy to them and often wind up with a goodlooking and successful man simply because they inspire him and both are compatible on most of the other levels.
There are two solution in my opinion:
1) Stand behind your weight and see where it takes you.
2) Get some healing and be a warrior against it rather than ignoring its existence.
The best thing is not to think about your weight, but live your life according to a very simple rule:
1) Only eat what is fresh and what is natural.
2) Listen to what you crave amongst those foods.
If you crave potato chips, it is not exactly those boring tasting potato skins that you crave, but the artificial flavoring. Instead of going for potato chips, look at what those artificial ingredients simulate and buy the real deal such as paprica, onions, garlic and whatever else there is.
Also avoid bread as it simply isn’t food, but filler. And that also goes for pasta and pizza. If you crave some carbs, try baked or cooked potatoes and rice.
Some people who have diabetes can live well without insulin if their diet consists of vegetables and meat alone and there is a reason for that. Life is very simple, but we are allowing it to become difficult. And this very natural and simple advice is not given to help you lower the number of your scale… it is to help you be healthy. And with health comes better more positive energy resulting in yes, a better aura, more of a dynamic presence, an overall higher quality of life and probably a look that will help shine the true you through.
Racquel Welsh, now 77, is only one of many women whose age has not slowed them down.
A man does not need to love you for him to sleep with you. If you use a photo that is 20 years old, he will be attracted to that picture. Then when he meets you, he may or may not care but he may also be attracted enough to sleep with you, but afterwards lose interest as you simply are not what he has anticipated. When people feel deceived, they can also get angry and become hurtful and indifferent as a result. My advice is to never use a picture more than 3 years old. You want to give the man the feeling of who you are NOW. Who you have involved into. Look at your face and get an idea of where you have been and where you wish to go in life. There is more to life that age and energy is a big one. Some women look more attractive in their 50s than they did in their 30s and that often comes from an inner reboot and most of all a different outlook on life.
If you are not happy with yourself, do not put the blame on age. Turn things around and look at women whose careers have taking a positive turn at a higher age. Then look at the men they are with. And then tell me again that you really need to lie about how old you are.
Whatever your interests: If you don’t “come clean”, you may have to give them up or practice them in secret.
This is something that has surprised me learning it. Apparently quite a few women believe that if their true personality shows too much, men will not be drawn to them, so they rather than answering questions honestly try to design them to appear “easy to live with”.
This is one of the huge reasons why there is so much miscommunication as eventually our true colors do show and you may wind up with a guy who took your answers at face value rather than someone who can accept and actually like who you are getting the chance to date you.
Just be you and see where things go, because dating sites are full of men and women and out of these many fish in the sea, you will probably be happiest when finding the one most suited for you. And that will not happen when you try to please everyone.
If your outlook on life is that you do not deserve to aim high, it can eventually make your future partner feel like a “plan B”.
Think you come off superficial if requiring a man of a certain height with athletic built who considers himself very attractive? Or shallow if you require a certain income in a partner?
Yes, love comes when it comes and how many times have you heard someone perfectly happy with her partner say “it is weird, because he is SO NOT MY TYPE”?
The truth is we are usually walking through all the requirements stated when love kicks in and at later times often consider what we once held important as silly. But it is good that while on this journey called life, you actually reflect your current position. If you think that something is important to you, let it all out rather than getting into the mindset that you should settle. There is little worse than being with someone because you felt this is the best you can do and later someone who represents what you always wanted showing interest in you when you already have a couple of children. Be humble, but don’t decide to only go for the sure thing. Let’s see what and who is really out there for you!
5) Acting insensitive
Let somebody know you!
Women understand when it is just a guard put up by the other person, but men don’t always see through it. Acting indifferent may help protect you from people but can also keep the right one from coming in. Sure, it is an understandable mechanism in many public settings that works, but when someone is truly interested in you, it can definitely convince the guy that you are really not interested in getting to know him and just are not in the right state of mind to be too close to anyone. Learn to trust. Step by step. And lose the guard when the time is right.
So how can you avoid falling for lies, especially when the intent is malicious?
Understand when starting communication, it is better to listen than speak. If you speak about yourself too much, you might miss the warning signs and give the wrong guy too much of an opportunity to simply tell you what you want to hear rather than letting you know who he is.
Con-artists are avid observers. They look for weaknesses at all times. And when they think they have found one, they will continue to attempt to exploit them.
So keep your mouth shut and don’t yap about everything you think you want and need for him to have nothing other to do than agree and feed you lines. Con-artists always go for the easy. The moment the other party shows signs of using his or her head and expressing doubt where things make no sense, respect kicks in and he or she backs off.
Being too needy is fine, but do not show all of it so much without reciprocal proof. There is no such thing as being too needy. If you are “too needy” you will match best with a partner who is equally needy. But if you don’t watch out, you might miss that person and wind up with a user.
If you happen to be a member at www.datebytype.com you can at any time contact the admin should you have any doubts in the sincerity of a member. You would be surprised how many times some people not sure and without proof of anything being wrong have done so enabling the administration to take action and remove such individual based on the amount of similar information provided.
Are you shy?
There is nothing wrong with being shy, careful and wanting to move things slowly.
Shyness is instinctive and there is nothing wrong with being shy. If you are not shy enough, you will potentially lose yourself in others. So don’t necessarily try to overcome something that is simply a normal reaction to the world I have just described above.
Never allow yourself to be bamboozled or to be talked into something you are not comfortable with.
Communication is king. Communication is key!
And we believe that blood types and compatibility go hand in hand. You need to find out your blood type first though before you can register for free and search for a potential partner who shares your blood type.
Imagine a world where people can see through each others and nobody makes mistakes based on being deceived and miscommunicating. We believe that when you choose someone compatible by blood type, exactly this becomes the case.
Wishful thinking and fantasyworlds are our taboos because we believe reality is more exciting than fiction.
We hope this article has helped you and will help many avoid making mistakes. Mistakes close doors to blessings. And when we eliminate the bad, the good has a gate wide open. And if you can think of how we can improve our free service to make things easier for everyone, please drop us a line. We are also on Facebook and Twitter. So do not hesitate to let us know!
Find THE piece that fits.
And don’t forget: You have the choice to keep your dating profile either public or make it private so that only potential matches can view you!
Hope to be of service!
Your Datebytype Team!
To be continued …